I'm going to school for something I can't even spell.

I think I've mentioned this before that there are certian words for me that I will never be able to spell no matter what. Like receive. That whole i before e rule except when there is a double pp before a third vowel sound...I don't know. Just don't put two vowels together...it's not needed. Anyway, I started school this week to become and estitician...HOLD ON while I google search the correct spelling. ESTHETICIAN. I started school for that. Do you know what you get with a building full of girl beauty students and a few fruits...a bachelor episode minus that cute guy everyone wants to make out with during break. No, the fruits aren't cute. That's a myth that all gay guys are hot. I'm not competitive! And the energy there is so insecure and competitive. Luckily for me, that's mainly with the cosmotology (big word for HAIR) students. There is a little bit of competitiveness with esthetics cuz the markets slower. Anyway, we're going to school to aquire skills to make civilians (Seriously what is it with the army labeling with that word? The snobby word for commoners?) more beautiful on the outside. Fortunatly all students have to do is look around at their peers to see who's the text book example of what to do or not to do. And surface beauty IS in the eye of the beholder. You can't please them all.

Have you ever gone to a salon and even though you got a cute hair cut you still walk out of there feeling SOO ugly? Seriously, there is something to that environments energy. Worldly or something. I'm guilty of judging too, though!! That's because I feel insecure. To make matters worse, Gabriel, the little twirp, flat out admitted he thinks I'm ugly. He was't kidding. I'm sure he'll tell you if you want to call and ask him.

It's been a stressful week and I was almost justified in wanting to come home and not watch the Relief Society Broadcast, but I did, for the first time ever! President Monson's story of the ugly old man was very poignant. He said something like "Appearances can be so decieving; such a poor measure of a person. The Savior said 'Judge not according to apperance'" I'm going to print out his talk and pass it out. I need to remember that with my learning there. I need to channel my focus on while, yes I am learning how to help people look better on the outside, trying to see them, their souls. So they feel better on the inside when they're done with my services rendered to them. I don't know how to do that yet. If I don't even feel that way, how can I make someone else? Oh, stop judging others myself! That's where I'll start. This will go along with my goal to be positive. My class isn't so bad for the petiness. I'm only in a room with 17 girls. 10 of them in the class above me, so only 7 at the same level. One of the older girls is kinda mean, she's manly though. Her voice is full on baritone. Truthfully, and I'm not trying to be negative, I just don't like being around all girls. I don't relate well and I just don't trust them. Plus so many of them are in the self discovery phase and they don't realize they're just trying to pass of trendy as original. Myself included a little. Which is a litte discourage because how do you really stand out? What makes a person shine? I don't shine.

I really do like this program and it feels right to be there. I didn't even want to do it. My aunt who worked at a salon talked me into it and it worked to go. I had nothing else going for me. I had toyed with the idea (I almost just spelled that eyedea! I'm so tired) of going into French and becoming a language teacher, but then I experienced crazy with BSU French Professor Will Browning, that shot that eyedea down. So I looked into the esth. program, got the funding to do it, and voila. Everytime I would think about not doing it, or think about doing something else, I would get kind of sick. It's not something I ever saw myself doing. I'm not that into it yet, but if I focus, I do think I could become really passionate about it. It is really fascinating. I'm just kind of an all or nothing person and I don't want to do something unless I know I can be good at it. Phenomenal at it. I never really had to worry about that in college. Because I just mostly did generals and that came really easy to me. It's the speacialty classes your self-esteem is on the line.

I have a lot riding on this. So I need to make it work! And get a kick A job at a high end resort or something, and doing photo shoot make-up application.



Isn't this a face of Beauty??





Goodnight!

Back At It

Have you seen this? I'm sure you have. It's one of those "funny cuz it's true things". Makes me smile!

I think I'm going to start blogging again. I now like the thought of having empty space to bounce ideas off of, that's not a journal type thing too. Also, before I did it worrying too much about readers and responses and proper grammar/spelling. Now, I don't care. I mean if people don't like what I have to say here they don't have to read it, right? When I first moved to Boise I met this French professor (who ended up being kind of a wack-o stalker, and I could be dead right now if he weren't kind of a weiny of a man that I could beat up. I could blog about that later if you wanted.) who told me this quote "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." I hate that I'm reminded of him when I think of this quote, at least it's not his, but I'm going to adopt this idea for a while. Along with "Approval: neither required nor desired." Oh and "No appologies!" I'm on a mission to discover who really matters in my life I guess, and more about who I am. Boise's been a huge change and change stretches our character. So I'm going to explore my character stretches, instead of resisting them and trying to get them to contract faster. This will be my motif for it! I don't know if I used that word right just now.

So here is where I'm going to say what I feel. Because in reality what you say does have to be controlled. I don't want to say controlled. More perfected into saying it so it's heard corectly, maybe. I don't know. Bluntness can be obnoxious and "calling it like you see it" is all relative...Opinions can be changed, and for me I need to hash them out before I finally have a better judgement, and feel confident in sharing them in a public domain. I like having ambigous philosopical ideas but I also like to be vain and shallow sometimes too. Maybe that's the equally two part formula to coming up with a sound opinion on any topic??

Well!! To start my journey of saying what I want I would first like to say how I feel about Oprah. I hate her. She ruins everything and is over-rated! I no longer dwell on why I hate her. I just want to make it known that I do. Hate is a strong word; ( I don't know the proper use of these ;;;;) a strong negative one. (Later I'll post that I'm on a mission to be positive too!!) So I should clarify that I hate her image and what she stands for. Anyone who demands attention like that, just isn't right. False humility. She's not that cool. Peace out Oprah! I'm glad your show's going to be over. Now I don't have to hear your loud voice like a fog horn blaring out on commercials. That is a positive for me to end on!



Sue Sylvester. Greatest opinionater ever! Do I dare admit she's my roll model??

Cheers readers.

That great point

Gee's it's been forever. Meh, who cares?? Blogging is soo 2008ish anyway...Right?
Well for whoever the 2 people who read this, usually people who accidently click on it from some google search, I'm just going to now continue to document some random thoughts.

Today, right now, I'm thinking about that point you get too after a relationship when you discover that a person who you once really cared for now REALLY grosses you out. It's kind of a bitter-sweet point. Mostly because now all the memories you once held sweet are, well bitter. But at least you don't hurt anymore when you think of them! And it's great to get a good little laugh at the first eye-opening disgust of "how did I ever in the first place tolerate you? LET ALONE LOVE YOU?"

It's genuine disgust too. Not the forced kind from rejection and trying to convince yourself they're dumb. No "You-Oughta-Know" anger. Just blissfull sighs of "Ahh, chalk that one up with a douchmark (I made that portmanteau up. I also had to google a reverse definition to find portmanteau. I swear there's a different term for combing two words.) to experience and try not to hope they fail in life". Chances are, if they were holding you back, and you're freshly seeing this liberation, then they're destined to. They just are. I mean obviously you were their peak. Yup, downward descent for them.

Well that's all I'm really going to say about it for now. If I kept going then it would start to sound a bit like that forced point I made.

Ahhh.*Contented sigh*. It's a great point to be at.

Hollahhh Mr. PRES!!! Some skinny to help you with the kiddos.

Dear Most Awesome POTUS:

While you are hacking up your "speech" from those black lungs of yours, please also include a message of the importance of *cough*NOT*cough* smoking to the impressionable children. It should just follow suit with the rest of your smoke and mirrors message, and will really win favor with them;). Ssssshhh. They'll never know you had your own pvt. Gettysburg with that. Good job on quiting BTW. Oh and feel free to mention also that if there happens to ever occur any unwanted pregnancies in their futures, they can always have an abortion(s)!! I mean since your going to be talking to them about responsibility and all, you really need to make clear on that. Seriously. That can only make you look more and more, like, UBER POPULAR!! You miiiiiight want to bite your tongue if you ever feel like saying "Hey if college isn't in the cards, there's always the Special Olympics." We can scratch the first time from History books, but we don't want a repeat of that Jay moment. Know what I'm mean??

OOooooh one more thing. All those awkward pauses and head bobs, kind of make it look like you shotgunned a Red Bull 2 sec's before go time. I'm just saying. Carbonation might not really be your friend...... We wouldn't want any distractions, or a sea of giggles erupting from the young viewers that might discredit your pretty pretty image, now would we*-*!

If all else fails, do a quick little shirt lift, and show them your abs. TOTALLY scored you the points with the A-list Hollywood. Who doesn't luuuuhhve a nice set of abs? Right? Am I right?!?! Well, Good luck tomorrow! I mean of course you'll have good luck. You're No Fail Obama, and anyone who's anyone is YOUR anyone.

Major kuddo's <3>

Your ever-loving, front row, groupie worshiper.

I have to make this known.

I hate the Louis Armstrong song "Wonderful World". Those nature email forwards that flash beautiful scenery with that song lulling in the back ground annoy the crap out me. It is not that special of a song. Every note he sings is watered down. I'm going to start using "watered down" to start describing everything. Your make-up looks watered down. This key lime pie tastes watered down. That joke was watered down. See it works with EVERYTHING.

Wow. I havn't blogged in a while.

Gee's. I feel like the brain fried zombie unable to compute two complete thoughts to even make a point. Ya, see. That didn't make sense to me either.

This semester is kicking my butt. Tryin to find the moto to be spirit-yo for Bro. Hardy-o's Book of Mo class. Trying to even keep interest in the uber boring personal finance class [I think people need to adopt the word UBER into their language more] and then mustering through the computer class of Brother Richard A. Roper who only looks up through the top right of his glasses rims, batting his eyes while trying to dance around the questions you ask him because he wants you to do everything ON YOUR OWN. I don't let him though. I make him help me. He sushed me the other day. He even put his hand up in the halting position. Not the arm extended faced turned the other way "talk to the hand" halt. But the arm across the mid waste stern prudeish halt.

I have this new job at Outback Steakhouse. It's draining me too. I go from LDSBC {insert lofty spiritual desciption here} to a restaurant {insert satan's reigning territory description here}. There was this bartender who was talking to another girl that worked there. He starts to go off on the movie Religulous or something like that, and how they came to Salt Lake and tried the got kicked out of the temple. Then he procedes to tell her that Mormons believe that we get our own planet. I was standing right there. I had to correct him. NO WHERE does it say sign here for you own planet in any of the doctrine. He then has to insist to me that we do teach it and I should "check into it" uhhhh I live and practice the religion. The weird thing is I'm not going to go to some neo-nazi camp in Northern Idaho for info on the Judaism religion, then go to some practicing Jew and insit to them what they teach. His nickname is Mo-fo. If you are nicknamed Mo-fo you should not be allowed to talk. Since people nicknamed you that because they don't like what you have to say. Actually he's a pretty nice guy.

And there is this older guy Kyle-the-yellow-dart (Strongbad anyone?), I like to refer to him as who is always like "I see you tried to call me last night" and I'm all "Gross."

I don't know how, and don't think I ever will, to spell the words exercize, nessicary, & successfull correctly. Something to do with double letters and the c's and s's. There's another one too I can't think of....

I think I'm gonna go make a batch of nobake cookies to fulfill my chocolate craving. Since I can't wake Gabe up to go to the Sev. Poor kid. We got our car broken into and he's been waking up EVERY NIGHT freaked out that they'll come back. He got his hair cut short too. It's really hard for me to cut his hair but it's what he wanted. I think he gets more of an attitude with shorter hair. Do you think hair length has anything to do with dispositions?

The delectation of pontificating linguistic form in order to loom alert is diverting to me.

In layman's* terms: The joy of using big words in order to appear smart is fun for me.

For all of the other times that a "big word" doesn't come to mind, I'm just going to make a point and then follow up with. "I'm surprised you didn't know that."

* layman's terms (not to be confused with Laman from the Book of Mormon. Which for a long time I used to think that's what it referred to. We're not rewording things into a way that Laman would say them.) is the intelligent way of saying "dumb it down". Which it actually is a contradictory phrase. If people don't actually know what "put it in layman's terms" means (which a lot don't), then the meaning of the phrase defeats its purpose. See what I'm saying?